Creativity and Parts Series, #2

I have found that I write most freely at night. In the evenings, my internal editor is spent and is better able to step aside for freewheeling creating. I’m not a night owl, so this discovery was a surprise to me, one I might not have come across without awareness of my parts.

What do I mean when I refer to parts? In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we hold an awareness that every person has parts of themselves. Parts are not good or bad, but they’re usually trying to do something for us. IFS defines these parts as protectors, which can either be managers (trying to control) or firefighters (rushing in, reactive and trying to help); or exiles, which are often young, hurt parts we stow away. The internal editor I mentioned before is a manager part, one that tries to make sure I’m doing my best work. Through the process of IFS therapy, we can get to know our parts and build a relationship with them.

In the creative process, I’m often curious how parts may show up in an attempt to protect us from the potential pain of vulnerability. As kids we often learn in one way or another that vulnerability can lead to hurt; creativity, a natural offshoot of vulnerability, can be seen by parts of ourselves as dangerous or unnecessary.

These protective parts can be critical of vulnerability and creativity, or even harsh or ridiculing of it. They can be directly critical, or they may be more subversive. Some protective parts may show up through distraction, dissociation, or even through encouraging other activities (such as those that might be more “productive” or in line with other values we hold or were given).

The way these parts can get us to turn away from creativity can be confusing, hurtful, and sometimes, downright clever. I have a lot of respect for protector parts and what they’re trying to do for us. In IFS therapy, we don’t push past protective parts. We get to know them, which sometimes is best done with the guidance and support of a therapist. We may even need to work backwards, getting to understand where these parts and their beliefs came from, especially if they don’t feel in line with who we are.

As we build internal trust, and protective parts learn to relax, oftentimes creativity blossoms.

So how do we start to recognize these barriers to creativity?

Notice what happens when you approach a creative project. Many people are not even in touch with what creates that spark of interest – so there’s no expectation to begin there. I’d encourage beginning by noticing what you feel as you read this post. What is your body doing? Where are you holding tension? What is that tension (or other sensation) alerting you to?

For those who are already creatively engaged: what pulls you away from your creative process? Is it your task list? Are you beating yourself up before you start? Is the “perfect” creation in your head intimidating you from the certain imperfection awaiting you? There’s your first clue.

By noticing these parts, we can begin to understand them, what they are saying to us, what they fear, and what they are trying to do for us in diverting us away from creativity.