When to go to therapy?

How do you know when it’s time to start or return to therapy?

In a first session, I often will ask a client how they knew it was time to come in. Sometimes people are coming in at the encouragement of a friend or family member; sometimes they know they need an outside perspective to explore an issue; sometimes it is clear that anxiety, depression or other symptoms are getting in the way of day-to-day life.

For therapists, it is easy to know when we need to go to therapy. When our own stuff starts coming up for us in the midst of counseling others, or if it’s at all getting in the way of facilitating psychotherapy, we know we need to talk to colleagues or get our own therapy. It’s like how doctors need to be healthy in order to treat their patients; counselors need to be emotionally healthy in order to treat our clients.

For everyone else, it can be harder to answer this question. Generally, I encourage someone to come to counseling when they have issues that are getting in the way of living their life the way they want to. (This could be due to any number of things: a stress response that is out of proportion to the stressor; difficulty sleeping; low mood; overwhelming thoughts; relationship difficulties; adjusting to a traumatic medical diagnosis or event).

When you feel you need a safe person to talk to, to process recent events or explore a part of your identity, it’s a good time to come to therapy. When you need to voice the loss you’ve experienced or the secrets that weigh on you, it’s a good time to come to therapy. When you feel ready to build on the strengths you’ve got and develop additional coping skills to face the challenges or burdens of your life, it’s a good time to come to therapy.

I always tell my clients that therapy is about balancing challenge and support. So, when you feel you need extra support in your life and you are ready to be challenged to grow – that is the time to come to therapy!

Mindfulness Exercise

Mindfulness involves observing and accepting the things around and within us in the present moment, without judgment.  In therapy, Johanna may involve mindfulness skills to build awareness of various issues and to develop coping strategies to reach optimal wellness.   The exercise below is not individualized to your needs as it may be in therapy, but is rather intended as a general exercise that you may find useful.

January’s Mindfulness Exercise:

It’s a new year, so let’s go back to the basics – starting with the breath.

Sit or stand as comfortable as you can, allowing your arms to rest at your side. Take a nice inhale through your nose, and exhale through pursed lips. Notice the feeling of expansion as you breathe in, and release as you exhale. Pay attention to the air as it passes through either your nose or your mouth.

Notice also how the rest of your body shifts with each breath in and out. Do your shoulders go up and down? Does your chest rise, or your belly expand? Bring your awareness inward to notice the details of each breath. Check in also with the muscles that might be holding tension, such as your jaw or shoulders. Do they shift when you inhale, or exhale?

As best you can, focus solely on the minute details of each breath – you have been breathing all day, perhaps without noticing it. Try to take 5 to 10 intentional breaths with this level of awareness.

 

Today’s exercise is intended to increase your emotional awareness, both regarding what you are experiencing emotionally as well as what you do with it. As always, if this feels overwhelming, please call Johanna to set up an appointment.

 

NOTE: This is not intended to replace therapy.  Please contact Johanna at (585)406-3012 if you are interested in engaging in counseling for optimal wellness.

The Helper’s Humanity

Together with Amy Andrews, MFA, LMHC, Johanna will be running a series of workshops on the humanity of the helper. Each workshop will use a different aspect of creative writing to explore your sense of humanity as a helping professional. Johanna and Amy will lead various exercises to deepen your curiosity and validate your vulnerability as a human and as a helper. Each exercise will involve personal time for writing as well as group discussion for processing.

The goals of the workshop are to provide creative writing tools for self-care and personal exploration, and to validate all the aspects of your humanity!

The first workshop is coming up in a few weeks on September 22nd. Each workshop will run from 8am-12pm, and coffee and light snacks will be provided. Spots are limited, so sign up soon!

Workshops are open to all, but are geared towards those individuals currently working in the helping professions (medical, mental health, religion and spirituality, teaching, etc).

Sign up for one retreat or for all four: $75 per retreat or $250 for all four.

To sign up, email Johanna at jbondperspectives@gmail.com or Amy at andrews.counseling@gmail.com. Please feel free to reach out with any questions you may have, as well.

Johanna and Amy are incredibly excited to collaborate on this project and can’t wait for the first workshop, titled “Developing identity through character.”

 

Well-adjusted and in therapy

Not long ago, a friend of mine (not a therapist) mentioned her thoughts on therapy. When I mentioned that some of my own friends are in therapy, she said, “Wow, they must be really well-adjusted.”

I love that statement. Not “there’s something wrong with them” or “what do they need to fix.” The underlying sentiment was that these people are well-adjusted because they know when they need help and they seek it out.

The language we use is powerful. When I tell someone I’m a therapist and they say with a laugh, “oh, my friend here might need to see you!”, they are implying that a) they would not need to see a therapist themselves and b) there must be something wrong with the other person that they would need a therapist. My response is often, “I think we all need a little therapy sometimes.”

People often think the job of a therapist is to label you as “crazy” or “not crazy.” Let me tell you, that is not my job. My job is to support you and to challenge you.

When my friend made that statement, I liked that she assumed going to therapy was a positive thing. Not a sign of weakness or trouble, but something truly positive that people can do for themselves.

There are often negative life events or situations that lead to individuals coming to therapy, but having the strength to be vulnerable in seeking out and accepting help is a powerful and positive action.

Hello, Prince Street!

As of this Saturday, 8/18/18, Perspectives has a fresh new location at 46 Prince Street. Right around the corner from the Memorial Art Gallery, this office has great neighbors, more space, a beautiful view, plenty of parking, and the same great quality therapy.

Please call Johanna with any questions you may have about the new space! (585)406-3012.

July’s Mindfulness Exercise

Mindfulness involves observing and accepting the things around and within us in the present moment, without judgment.  In therapy, Johanna may involve mindfulness skills to build awareness of various issues and to develop coping strategies to reach optimal wellness.   The exercise below is not individualized to your needs as it may be in therapy, but is rather intended as a general exercise that you may find useful.

July’s Mindfulness Exercise:

Last month, we brought awareness to our thoughts. This month, we bring awareness to our emotions!

How aware are you of your emotions? Take a deep breath in, and exhale out slowly. Keep in mind the statement “as long as you are breathing, there is more that’s right with you than wrong with you.” Similarly, there are no wrong emotions – you get to have them all.

Notice what you are experiencing emotionally in this moment. Name the emotion or emotions to yourself. Maybe even write it down on a piece of paper.

Engage in this emotion-naming three times throughout your day today. Notice the fluctuations you experience in emotion and intensity. Notice what you do with the emotion. Is it healthy for you?

 

Today’s exercise is intended to increase your emotional awareness, both regarding what you are experiencing emotionally as well as what you do with it. As always, if this feels overwhelming, please call Johanna to set up an appointment.

 

NOTE: This is not intended to replace therapy.  Please contact Johanna at (585)406-3012 if you are interested in engaging in counseling for optimal wellness.