General

Well-adjusted and in therapy

~ JB ~ Leave a comment

Not long ago, a friend of mine (not a therapist) mentioned her thoughts on therapy. When I mentioned that some of my own friends are in therapy, she said, “Wow, they must be really well-adjusted.”

I love that statement. Not “there’s something wrong with them” or “what do they need to fix.” The underlying sentiment was that these people are well-adjusted because they know when they need help and they seek it out.

The language we use is powerful. When I tell someone I’m a therapist and they say with a laugh, “oh, my friend here might need to see you!”, they are implying that a) they would not need to see a therapist themselves and b) there must be something wrong with the other person that they would need a therapist. My response is often, “I think we all need a little therapy sometimes.”

People often think the job of a therapist is to label you as “crazy” or “not crazy.” Let me tell you, that is not my job. My job is to support you and to challenge you.

When my friend made that statement, I liked that she assumed going to therapy was a positive thing. Not a sign of weakness or trouble, but something truly positive that people can do for themselves.

There are often negative life events or situations that lead to individuals coming to therapy, but having the strength to be vulnerable in seeking out and accepting help is a powerful and positive action.

Awkward and Strong

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At a yoga class recently, I was reminded in the midst of a holding a very difficult pose that what we need we carry with us. The instructor went on to discuss how we have the ability to cope with difficult situations. Deep stuff, right?

This doesn’t mean I held the pose. I certainly didn’t look the picture of the strength and grace I aspire to be. I was awkward, and shaky, and exited out of the pose before the teacher told me to do so. I may have even rolled my eyes a bit at the instructor’s words.

But it made me think. Not necessarily to agree with the instructor about what we carry internally, and whether it is enough. No, it made me think about how the things we need to grow come from within us, instead of from the material things around us.

I realized that my physical practice of yoga depended on me. Not the room I was in, not the clothes I was wearing, or even the yoga mat beneath my feet. My awkward, strong engagement in physical movement using my own body… that depended on me.

The instructor was right. I didn’t have the tools to bend and contort into a crazy pose, but I did have the ability to engage my body in the practice and own my movements. I didn’t need anything but myself to do yoga.

I often say in counseling sessions that you are the only one who is in your body and your mind 24/7. (It’s a great thing – and sometimes a very difficult thing!). That self is all you need to challenge yourself to grow.

And in my office, all we really need is you (the person who is in your body and your mind), and me (the person who will sit with you). Counseling depends on the relationship between myself and you, the client.

It is nice to have chairs to sit in, pictures to look at, and a window to let the light in; but the real work comes from the connection in the therapeutic relationship. That’s all we really need. It may be awkward at times, it may be shaky, and it will be strong. The real work comes from the changing perspective you develop for yourself and take out of the office with you.

What we need to grow we carry within us.

In yoga, the things we need come from physical movement. In counseling, it comes from the counseling relationship. In both cases it is the internal parts of self and relationship that lead to growth.

Good-bye snow bank, Hello recycling bin

~ JB ~ Leave a comment

After over a month, my recycling bin has emerged from the midst of a snow bank. Sometime in February, I’d set the recycling bin by the curb and a snowstorm buried it overnight. Just this week, the snow melted enough for my blue bin to reappear, equally full of snow as recyclables. I left the bin out by the curb. It was finally ready to be emptied.

When it comes time for spring, I think we’re all a bit like that recycling bin. We may have things we’ve been holding onto that have no more use; we may have been buried (or been hiding!) in a snow bank; we may be emerging from a long winter, standing alone on the grass where there used to be snow.

A new season is heading towards us – spring. With change comes stress, and new growth, and opportunity.

What do you need to empty from your recycling bin? What are your hopes for spring? What might you still be holding onto? What do you need help sorting through?

As always, I’m a phone call away if you find you need another perspective as you dive into your own emotional spring cleaning – (585)406-3012.

Q&A with Johanna

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You’ve been in private practice for a few years now. What’s changed? What hasn’t?

Well, first off there are now two locations, one in Brighton and one in Webster. Something else that has changed is my own growth as a therapist and deepening interest in areas of specialty, including medical trauma, gender identity exploration, social anxiety, and grief. I also work with more adolescents in my practice than when I first opened.

I’m continuing to also see clients with general anxiety, grief, trauma, and depression, as well as areas of specialty. What has stayed the same is my interest in hearing people’s stories and witnessing positive change in their lives.

What helps to keep your practice sustainable?

Community! While I practice individually and the business itself is just me, I could not do this without community. In my physical office locations, I share community with the other professionals in the space. In the therapist community, I collaborate and learn from other local therapists (and with such varied strengths here in Rochester, there is always something to learn!). And more broadly, collaborating with other disciplines such as spiritual leaders and medical providers is hugely important both for the health of my practice and for the health of my clients.

I would also say continued learning is important. The more I am engaged in learning, the more I can share with my clients the most relevant and recent research on why we do what we do in therapy. There’s always something new to learn.

And finally, focusing on the most important part – the growth and the healing that happens in the office with a client. That’s the best part of the practice, without a doubt.

Second Location!

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Johanna is now offering services in both Webster and Brighton. In addition to her Webster office at 721 Ridge Road, she is now offering counseling services at 2561 Lac de Ville Boulevard in Brighton!

Please contact Johanna for further information or to set up an appointment.

Warm Holiday Wishes

~ JB ~ Leave a comment

To all my clients, colleagues, and friends:

I’m sending you warm holiday wishes as we head towards celebrations, towards the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017. I’m sending warm wishes to those who are looking forward to the celebrations, the food and gifts and time with loved ones; those who are overwhelmed with the stress of holiday cooking, shopping and job requirements; those who are missing a loved one or are alone at this time of year; those who are struggling to be kind to themselves; and all of us as we step towards a new year.

As always, should you find that you are having difficulties this time of year, please don’t hesitate to call or email to set up an appointment. I look forward to seeing you soon; you are welcome in my office, however you are and whatever you carry with you!

With all my best,

Johanna

Scheduling appointments just got easier.

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Johanna is now offering client self-scheduling through the client portal! You can set up your next appointment by logging into the client portal and choosing your appointment time.

Be sure to ask Johanna about it in your next session, or feel free to call (585)406-3012 or email jbondperspectives@gmail.com with questions.

Scheduling appointments just got easier for everyone!

Now Offering… Premarital Counseling!

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Johanna is now offering premarital counseling as a service at Perspectives! If you or someone you know is seeking premarital counseling, please call Johanna at (585)406-3012.

This service includes 4-6 sessions exploring different relationship topics designed to optimize the health of the relationship and prevent future difficulties in marriage.

Random Acts of Kindness Week

~ JB ~ Leave a comment

This week is Random Acts of Kindness week!  I love that the idea behind random acts of kindness is to simply go out of your way to do something kind for someone else, and to pay it forward when something kind is done for you.  It doesn’t have to be something big, grand, or even time-consuming – many acts of kindness involve a small gesture, such as a smile or kind compliment to another person.  You can find many ideas for random acts of kindness here if you have trouble thinking of some on your own.  A few of my favorites from this blog and others include:

  • Write something nice on a friend’s social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) or post a kind comment on a blog you follow
  • Compliment the next person you see
  • Say thank you to someone you may take for granted in your daily life
  • Call up a friend or family member just to say hi
  • Think of someone who has inspired you in your life, and thank him or her
  • Leave a bigger tip at a restaurant than usual
  • Buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line
  • Share a feel-good song or YouTube video with a friend
  • Ask someone how their day is going, and really listen
  • If you live with other people, do a chore you don’t usually do
  • Clean off someone else’s snowy car in a parking lot
  • Smile at someone you don’t know
  • Tell yourself something you like about yourself – you deserve kindness too!

Sleep Better in 2016

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We’ve entered the new year, made our resolutions, and gotten back into a routine after the holidays.  How are your self-care routines going?  More specifically, how are you sleeping?

Here are a few things to consider that may help to improve your sleep in 2016.

-Are your bed and your bedroom comfortable?  Do you walk in and instantly associate the room with feelings of peacefulness?  If not, consider things like the temperature of the room and blankets, the lighting, the noise level, and what you use the room for.  Try to pick a couple of things to make changes and invest in your sleep space.  If you find that your bedroom is a multipurpose space (such as for watching television, doing work, or eating), consider moving these activities to another room or at least another piece of furniture other than the bed.

-Do you have a hard time turning off your “to do” list or worries at nighttime?  Try taking 5-10 minutes to think through, or even write down, your tasks and worries.  Do this before you even get ready for bed so that you have a buffer between your “worry time” and your sleep time.

-How do you prepare for bed?  I’m not just talking about brushing your teeth.  Think about what you do to wind down from the business of the day.  If you don’t have a pre-bedtime routine, try one out!  Take 20-30 minutes before bed to engage in something that is relaxing but won’t put you to sleep (you want to save that for when you get into bed).  This pre-bedtime routine could include stretching, reading, taking a bath, or another calming activity.

As always, don’t hesitate to call Johanna with questions or to schedule an appointment at (585)406-3012 if you’d like to explore this topic more.